Research had shown us the three biggest things that couples fight about are: sex, money, and family (in-laws) and we were determined to talk through our expectations for finances before our wedding day. I'm pretty sure I searched all over for "Questions to Ask Before You Marry" and we talked through every list of questions while we were on our 10 hour trip to Texas to celebrate our engagement with his family.
Somewhere in that car ride, we set three financial standards which have blessed our marriage immensely.
1. We GIVE
The Bible teaches us to give a tithe of 10%. "Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first fruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine." Proverbs 3:9-10. We give back in tithes and offerings. Our church doesn't ask for offerings throughout the year, but instead asks for an offering of 5%, making our giving a simple 15% of our income.
While we were faithful in our giving, we have been blessed, our income has been stretched, and we've never gone without. "..seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you" (Matthew 6:33)
2. It's HIS
We make a declaration that any income, profit or possession that we are blessed with is not ours, but the Lord's. We might be entrusted with it, but ultimately it's His. "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it." 1 Corinthians 10:26.
3. We're ONE
Genesis 2:24 says "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." We believe that once we are married, our finances, both incomes and debts, become one, too. All of our accounts are joint accounts and all of our debts are something we are in together. There is no "yours" or "mine" in marriage, but now "ours".
When it came to debt, it felt like it was always a cloud over us. It was massive. It was overwhelming. And we felt hopeless. According to Proverbs 22:7, “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.” At times, we felt anxious that we weren't going to be able to get groceries, pay our rent, or make all of the payments on time.
During the first year of marriage, started following Dave Ramsey's baby steps in his program, "Financial Peace University" with the end goal of building wealth and giving back. We learned how to create a budget and started working towards Baby Step 2, paying off all of your debt besides your home.
Within the first year, we paid off close to $25,000. The second year, we cash flowed (saved up) to purchase a home and pay cash for a much needed new car. As we approach year three, we want to be DEBT FREE (except for our mortgage).
"You guys seem to be doing a lot better than most people your age, why is this such a big deal to you two?"
Justin has always been sensitive to hearing God's promptings for him to give and is willing to give liberally and sacrificially. While everyone is asked to give in tithes and offering, others are called to give more. If you're familiar with spiritual giftings, you've probably already guessed it, a spiritual gifting of Justin's is "giving"... "if it is giving, then give generously" (Romans 12:8)
We believe it is our calling as a family to be able to give 90% of our income and live off the remaining 10%. We are working hard to remove our debt so we can give more generously than we have ever been able to before.
As the Church continues to grow and has more needs, we feel called to give so we can continue spreading the Gospel and caring for those less fortunate.
In April of 2018, Justin and I took on part-time jobs at a restaurant to quickly pay off our debt. We made this decision together, and work together every shift! Is it challenging at times? Yup! But we feel one step closer to what we're called to do: give generously.
By making our journey public, we know not everyone will understand or relate to our reasons why, but we do hope that we can encourage those who want to get out of debt and experience financial peace. If you're interested in taking Financial Peace University, click the link to find a class near you.
If you need a little more help or are interested in having a Financial Coach, comment on this post and I'll get back to you really soon! :)